...where you eat? (aka, reason # 234234987 why I left the law)

So this guy is a former lawyer, who is now apparently some sort of therapist-to-the-legal profession, and his latest article exposes that little heard of, completely unlikely phenomenon of law firm office romance.  Imagine that!  Now, I believe that I can classify myself as an "expert" in the field of shitting where you eat, and any federal jurisdiction in this country would do the same.  (try to challenge me lawyer friends, just try...)  So, my thoughts on his diagnosis of this "problem" endemic to the legal profession.

First off, he's completely right as far as the timing (or lack thereof) leading to office romances.  Deal goggles aside, there's just simply NO time for anything else when you are billing over 2200 hours per year.  You are NOT fixing your lip gloss in the office bathroom at 6 pm before heading out to your next fabulous blind date; instead you are attempting to locate that spare pair of comfy pants you thought were in your bottom drawer when your outfit that was cute at 9 am suddenly becomes quite confining by 9 pm after that take-out Chinese food for dinner.  Even if you do get out at a decent hour, you're not feeling it.  However, neither is the hot guy in the next office, who is also (conveniently) working late.  It's a lot easier to walk across the street for post-work drinks with someone who has watched you have a complete meltdown when "PC Load Letter" appeared on the copier for the 5th time in half hour than to pull it together to meet someone you've never met before and who doesn't understand how X partner is a total d-bag.  So, that's right.

Now obviously I agree with the single vs. married dilemma (this applies to all parts of life, not just office romance), which The People's Therapist puts succinctly as "Is there a problem with getting it on at the office?  If you’re married, or in a committed relationship, the answer is easy: yes. That’s because, if you’re sleeping around, you’re lying to someone."  So, done.  And I also agree with his sentiments re: power struggle when you have the 20-something female associate and the 40-something partner knocking boots in Conference Room 11A.  First off, that's just not sexy.  And second off, only one of you is getting off, and the other one is getting effed, at least career-wise.  Don't bang your boss, people.  I mean, really?

But is there REALLY a problem if you're both the same age, single, and would probably date in "real life" if you met under other circumstances?  On this point, I do disagree.  Certainly, I'm sure, there is a higher probability of workplace romances that fail rather than workplace romances that work out, but there are still some that do.  I worked with 3 out of my 4 "serious relationship boyfriends" at some point, and all of those relationships ended for reasons that had nothing to do with work.  Granted, they were not the healthiest, stablest or the poster children for functionality of relationships, but at the same time, they were all real, honest attempts at making a go of it.  So, I think there is something to be said for commonality of experiences making dating easier, which means that there's at least a common starting point for the future when you're working the same job and dealing with the same drama everyday.

However, I'm also 100% happy that my new job is dating-prospect-free for the first time in the last 6 years.  It's refreshing to be able to separate one part of my life from another, and, quite frankly, I would be FINE if I never dated another lawyer again in my life.