Confrontation, Conscious Decision-Making and Chocolate

Most of my day can be divided into two segments - thinking about men-related things and thinking about food-related things.  Sometimes, those two combine themselves into alternatively awesome / horrific situations.  For example, the "OMG he wants to go out for an actual dinner and eat actual food like actual adults" awesome scenario.  Or, the more likely, "I have to make an important decision, so instead of focusing on that I'm just going to eat cookies" horrific scenario.  Unfortunately for me right now, I'm making stupidly annoying decisions, I'm the only one manning the office phones right now, and I can't leave to hit up the Godiva downstairs for my free "chocolate of the month" club rewards.  Curses!


Important decision-making currently is taking the form of "maybe if I just don't call him for 3 days, he will realize how awesome I am, and will come running and suddenly be ready to date me and will become a perfect boyfriend."  This theory is flawed, I think.  After 3 days of no contact initiated by me, I finally broke down and contacted the Guy I'm Not Dating But Spend An Awful Lot of Time With.  Because we DO spend that much time together, he is well aware of my...shall we say..."quirks," which often tend to rear their ugly heads whenever I've had (1) too little sleep; (2) too much to drink; and/or (3) too little communication from said Guy.  Combine all 3, and I do what I do best - delete his number & entire contact info from my phone; delete my call logs, so that I can't get him from there (take THAT, drunk self thinking you can outsmart sober self!), and remove him from my instant message buddy lists.  This generally works for 2-3 days, and then somehow we end up communicating via some sort of medium (damn you, Twitter!  Foiled again) and hanging out.  Today, after radio silence from me for 3 days, I finally broke down and asked him how his show went last night.  (Because my penchant for unemployed graphic designers in "just about to take off" bands really will never end, no matter how hard I try...)  During said conversation, out of the blue, he asked "Hey, did you delete my number again?"  Sigh.  The answer, of course, is yes, because I do this at least once a weekend.  But, thankfully, I have enough sense to keep the crazy to a minimum and deflect the question, instead asking if he was asking me this because he missed my 3 am drunk dials.  (Clearly, I am sure, he does).


So, I'm holding myself accountable, and it's about time to cut ties with this one.  I'm bummed about it, but no matter how many times I said that things were fine, and I was happy with the way things were going in a causal fashion, and that I was still totally happy dating other people and this wasn't holding me back, I'm totally full of crap.  And I'm not "waiting until he's ready to date me" again, because, clearly, that has worked out SO well for me in the past.  Ugh.  I guess this means I have to actually have a big adult talk with him, which is one of my top 3 least favorite things in the world, right up there with practicing law and bedbugs.  My officemate better come back soon, because I need some chocolate, stat!